Tuesday, 10 April 2012

DWTS Does KISS

Rock week with Kiss! The make up was a great idea as now they look the same as back then (maybe a little rounder). The professional dancers out in front look like dominatrix waitresses (the girls) and ballet dancers with odd make up ( the guys). The girls definitely got the better costumes.

Brooke has BIG hair and a leather dress with little silver bits on it, like the Pearly Queen of DWTS. Kiss are playing the intro music! Classy! Tom is DULL as always, just dark suit and dark jacket. Not even a little bit of make up.

Catherine Jenkins looking like Olivia Newton John after the make over in Grease. Gladys Knight looking like the octopus meany lady in The Little Mermaid. The rest range from kinda cool to uncomfortably odd.

Last week everyone blabbed as it was memory week. I watched it on TiVo as I was out last Monday - it being my birthday and all.

Sherri dancing the tango. But first (as I am watching this live) I have to live through the dull adverts - mobiles, chain steak food, anti aging creams, medicine (as you know better than your doctor what medicine you need - this one can lead to increased risk of death), cheap shoes, cat food, taxes and Disneyland. I guess the average viewer is female, middle aged with kids or grand kids and in the lower income bracket.

Cheri is off! It is not bad. Not as such. Just not very good. I reckon straight 8's (as that is the new 7). I was wrong - 3 x 7. Not rocking their world.

More adverts - TJ Max, Diet Pepsi, Realtors (weird I know), Dove, MiracleGro, Mary Kay, Lincoln cars.

Catherine is up - she is supposed to be the Welsh Warrior. OH she is dancing to Muse! Love it! But not even she can make the outfit look good, super tight black pants with a half skirt kinda glued on the bum. A bit hesitant, as if she didn't remember all the steps - this will be her worst score. 8 x 3.

TempurPedic (love our), Kia, Bounty kitchen rolls, anti aging cream, CVS, chewing gum.

Jaleel trying to be Jagger and the dancing is good but not very crisp, does not feel like a powerful tango. Kym has been dressed in a left over dress from Dynasty. Pretty hideous. 8, 7, 7.

Target, Dominos, Discover card, Detergent, Chase bank, Raymour & Flanigan, Jeep.

Melissa has to be angry at Maks. Should be easy. Although she looks terrified. Yeah I am not keen. Maks fell over, that was the highlight. 7, 8, 7 - not very generous this week.

HA! Maks grabbed Brooks hair by mistake and dragging her with him by mistake. Snort. Very funny. Big hair can be dangerous.

Ranch dressing, AT&T, contact lenses, cat food, Pepsi Next (some new cola with with less calories but still made with high fructose corn syrup).

Donald and the guns - mmmm he has wonderful arms. Take that back, he has a wonderful body. So intense, I love it! A bit of the haka in there - tongue out and all. This was good! 9, 9, 9! Highest score of the night!

Gladys dancing the tango - she is going to do nasty! But first Lowes, KFC, medicine that can lead to fatal liver problems, dark spot correctors, Listerine.

Gladys dancing to Queen - bit tentative and I suspect she will be the next to leave. 7, 6, 7.

Blinds, milk (with a stunning Salma Hayek), AT&T, Samsung, American Express, Toyota - the adverts are getting better as the night progresses!

William, yum. Little bum shake in there and the audience goes wild. Messing up a few steps and that throws him a bit. He is still the sexiest man in the room. 7, 7, 8 (Bruno giving a bonus point for looks I think.)

Royal Caribbean, Diet Pepsi, Nissan, Advil PM, Hellaman's mayo.

Roshon not very rock n'roll in pink shirt and velvet jacket, but he is cute. Long lines, elegant and just adorable, in an Andrex puppy kinda way. 9, 8, 9.

Maria looking cool in glasses and long skirt that is ripped off her by 'magic' as the song started. Bucks Fizz 2.0. Pretty good and even had a bit of head banging in there, even with an almost broken foot. 9, 8, 9.

Last dancer - about time - getting a bit bored to be honest. But first even more adverts. I got so sick of them that I had a 10 min break so I could whizz through them.

Gavin and Karina - she in a super scary make up. It looks like several small animals live above her eyes and some bugs below. His posture is not good, bum out and shoulders high. And he is just not very exciting... A random roll on the floor, both of them, then up again, not sure about this choreography. Third week in the bottom two, I suspect. 8, 8, 7.

Tomorrow they will show all the dances again - so there is no point in watching tomorrows show unless you want to see a lot more adverts for mediocre cars, anti aging creams, cheap clothes and shoes and less than great chains of restaurants.

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